This week's update!

3 new recipes, a restaurant review, and my weekly meal plan + grocery list

Jan 19, 2025

Another Sunday another weekly update!

Simultaneously annoying and entertaining, I always find myself updating my scheduled Substack posts on Saturday night- a clear ode to my university days and my all-nighters to submit my essays. Do I work better under pressure? Potentially. Could be why I decided to work in a restaurant.

I was actually thinking about this the other day when it was a particularly slow day due to the dry January and diet mentality that overtakes people during the subsequent weeks that follow the gluttony of the holidays. I’m currently on pastry during a time when people historically try not to order desserts. But the lack of pressure in the cold reaches of the pastry section had me feeling less productive and more stressed than I ever was on the fast and sweaty garnish section the past three months.

Is this what they call Stockholm Syndrome? Have I finally been successfully gaslit into enjoying that slightly sick feeling crawling up my throat when I see a 14-top table walk in when we are already slammed?

If you asked me that question before I started this job- I’d look at you like you’re crazy. I have historically always been a person who shied away from organized competition. Swim meets and taekwondo tournaments gave me nail-biting anxiety with school exams inducing a feeling of insecurity only rivaled by flipping through OK! and Hello magazine in 2012.

It wasn’t because I was scared of the actual competition. It was because I was, and am a horrible sore loser. Truly truly a terrible sport about being bad at things. I secretly hold myself to intense standards- so when I don’t achieve it- I spiral- quite often quickly. It was one of those things my culinary school instructors had to force out of me, lest I panic at the fact that my fish was overcooked by 30 seconds (a scandal I still remember).

So, in an effort to protect myself, I usually just opt not to partake. My friends can attest to this by refusing to participate in card games, which I know I’m doomed to lose. It’s a horrible trait of mine, and one I’m actively working on,

But maybe that’s why I enjoy the kitchen so much. It’s performing at the highest standard day in and day out, but the difference is that this time, I’m good at it. And that is a great feeling.

I still try not to get too hurt when I make mistakes, as it would be the ultimate arrogance to presume I never make mistakes. In fact, I make many mistakes. All the time. But I try to make sure I never repeat them. Or repeat them as little as possible.

Working in a restaurant is tangible. It’s visual results and it’s incredibly satisfying. Seeing your hands take raw ingredients into dishes replete with meaning, intention, and care is a feeling wholly unmatched by anything else.

I’m not particularly sure how my weekly update devolved into an analysis of my inner psychology but here we are. Back to my original point- it is Saturday night and I’m sitting on my couch (per usual), watching Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown (too cliche?), and writing all my recipes and meal plans for you all to enjoy this coming week.

The looming TikTok ban is at the back of my mind but it feels less real to me since I’m in the UK at the moment. Hopefully, it’ll be back by the time I’m back stateside? If not, I love my US TikTok followers and you can find me on Instagram, Substack, and YouTube!

I hope you enjoy them all and as always, an immense amount of love for you.